Now Reading
I Woke Up Like This aka Why I'm Not Married Yet


A man and woman holding hands while walking down the street.
The Return of Indie Sleaze Style
A view of the city skyline at dusk.
Hipster Travel Guide | Minneapolis, MN
A woman in red and blue shirt dress standing on street.
How To Make A Hockey Jersey Look SEXY
A cat sitting on top of a stack of soda bottles.
Follow This: Bodega Cats of Instagram
A woman with long hair and black nails holding a necklace.
Bushwick Hipsters
A view of the river from above in autumn.
What to Wear on a Day Hike
A person holding up a large ice cream cone.
Big Gay Ice Cream #WITHTHATSHAKE
A group of people walking down the street at night.
Hipster Travel Guide |New Orleans
A woman wearing a hat and holding onto some steps
80's Dad Glasses Are A Thing

I Woke Up Like This aka Why I'm Not Married Yet

A group of people standing next to each other.


Coming back home with my coffee, a really attractive man catches my attention and I can’t help but stare at him because I know him from somewhere.

Mind you, I look like a Cathy comic (except if she lived in Paris – striped t, skinny jeans) because I just rolled out of bed and still forget to take my makeup off at night so under one eye I have a full load of mascara and my hair looks like I borrowed a wig from the set of “Encino Man”. (You’re probably wondering why I left the house like this. Well, it’s simple. I just didn’t look at myself in the mirror / feel like Sbux is 2 blocks away so “no one will even see me”. So now you also know why I’m not married yet.)

Finally, after 10 seconds of eye contact, I realize it’s James Franco who I never really had a crush on until like 20 minutes ago because he seems so weird but, man, that dude is extremely attractive.


I opened my apartment building door all the while staring at him and his … agent, let’s say. Still in my brain, as I walked in my building, not paying attention, I run into my 2-years-running building crush who won’t acknowledge my existence. That’s a lie. He gave me his umbrella once. But, still, I’m pretty sure the guy hates me. I screamed “I’m sorry” like I was just caught doing something bad and he literally walked past me like I was invisible.
How’s your Friday starting out?

What's Your Reaction?
Excited
0
Happy
0
In Love
0
Not Sure
0
Silly
0

© 2020 themidwasteland.com. All Rights Reserved.

Scroll To Top