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Hipster Musings: RIP Sparks

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Hipster Musings: RIP Sparks

Never Without A Sparks in My Hand
It all started in the Summer of 06…
My friends and I were hanging out at Intonation Fest when we were introduced to an orange malt beverage called Sparks. It tasted like cough syrup, came in a can that looked like a battery(red flag), and left everyone in its path with an orange mouth(aka Sparks Tongue or Sparks Mustache).
My friend’s boyfriend was in one of the bands, so we drank for free and obviously drank as much as we could. By the end of the weekend, we had created Sparks floats and I think I might have had two heart attacks and possibly raped and killed a few people. I was seriously up for 2 days straight after the fest.After that weekend, Sparks became my drink of choice.
It was a pretty good run until I found out the shit had 384 calories a can. At 2 – 4 cans a night, I was consuming about 3000 + calories a day and my ass was none too pleased. Shortly after, I quit cold turkey and never turned back.
Two and a half years later, Sparks’ parent company has stopped production of the “alcopop”. Hipsters and teens everywhere are mourning the loss, though personally, I’m glad. These days, I’m all about the low(er) cal, big girl drinks(i.e. Wine, Champagne, and Effen Black Cherry) but I’ll never forget Sparks Summer 06. RIP.

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