I Woke Up Like This aka Why I'm Not Married Yet

Coming back home with my coffee, a really attractive man catches my attention and I can’t help but stare at him because I know him from somewhere.

Mind you, I look like a Cathy comic (except if she lived in Paris – striped t, skinny jeans) because I just rolled out of bed and still forget to take my makeup off at night so under one eye I have a full load of mascara and my hair looks like I borrowed a wig from the set of “Encino Man”. (You’re probably wondering why I left the house like this. Well, it’s simple. I just didn’t look at myself in the mirror / feel like Sbux is 2 blocks away so “no one will even see me”. So now you also know why I’m not married yet.)

Finally, after 10 seconds of eye contact, I realize it’s James Franco who I never really had a crush on until like 20 minutes ago because he seems so weird but, man, that dude is extremely attractive.

I opened my apartment building door all the while staring at him and his … agent, let’s say. Still in my brain, as I walked in my building, not paying attention, I run into my 2-years-running building crush who won’t acknowledge my existence. That’s a lie. He gave me his umbrella once. But, still, I’m pretty sure the guy hates me. I screamed “I’m sorry” like I was just caught doing something bad and he literally walked past me like I was invisible.
How’s your Friday starting out?