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For the Boys: Zappos can solve your marital woes for $50,000
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For the Boys: Zappos can solve your marital woes for $50,000

by
January 8, 2009



 

Hmm, Zappos has proposed an interesting idea to help people keep tabs on their significant others without clubbing them and draging them away from the computer, caveman style. Here’s the sitch: supposedly, one can pay $50,000 and provide the name and email address of the spouse that they want Zappos to ban from shopping anymore. Does it strike you as both offensive and impractical? Oh, that’s because it kind of is.
I thought this was funny for like…a nanosecond, at which point I became outraged. It’s pretty strange that in 2009 that kind of spousal control is a viable option, and a bankable one at that. There are some other stipulations- mainly that they can’t do anything if the banned individual signs up under a new email and the only way that it can be revoked is if you can prove the couple has gotten divorced. Weak.
But you don’t just get a poorly designed teeshirt, oh no, you get all this other stuff too:
“Within 30 days of purchase, a Customer Loyalty Team (“CLT”)representative from Zappos.com will arrive to the location of yourchoosing in the United States to break the news in person to yoursignificant other.
The CLT rep will also be a shoulder to cry on for up to 1 hour (60minutes) for your significant other. As time permits, the CLT rep will also be available to share tears of joy with you. The CLT rep will be happy to frolic in a field of daisies with youor do anything that is mutually agreed upon to not be morally orethically objectionable.”
Ugh. Gross. Communication, people. It’ll save you $50,000.

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View Comments (3)

  • Jeebus. What an idiotic ploy for publicity. I’ve been Zappos-loyal for ages, but this gives me pause.

  • there is very simply no way that’s real. before you get offended, consider thinking critically for five seconds. you have been sincerely tricked by something that doesn’t attempt to even seem that serious.

  • Actually, dear anonymous reader, you’re oh, so very wrong. I made a quick call to Zappos to clarify for you. Giovanna from Customer Service said “Sure, what size would you like?” After requesting a size extra small, she paused and said “I’m sorry, I think it’s just a joke…but maybe I can send you one anyway!”

    So, I’m sitting here thinking, “Well, looks like I’ve been punk’ed. I can definitely laugh at myself, Luxist and all the other sites that had similar responses. That darned anonymous commenter sure got me”

    Then, Giovanna came back on the line and said “Ma’am, I’m actually shocked to tell you this, but that really is real. Would you like me to continue to process the order?”.

    Who’s punk’ed now, Anonymous?

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