Preparing For Pitchfork: 7 Simple Steps to Surviving Pitchfork

Trekking to my share of summer music fests over the past 2 years has taught me that preparation is EVERYTHING. It’s unfortunate that I had to learn the hard way but, lucky for you, you can learn from my mistakes. Just follow these 7 steps and you will surely survive Pitchfork and just about any other outdoor fest you dare tackle.

1. TICKETS
First things first, you must have tickets.
At this point, tickets are sold out. Fortunately, our trusty friend, Craig’s List, is chock full of them. Just be sure to support the fair people asking face value over the assholes who are asking 3 times the regular price. Pay as close to $35 per day as possible or you’re probably getting ripped off.

2. PACK YOUR BAGS
This is where preparation come in handy. Read all the rules and regulations here before you get your weekend satchel together. Pitchfork is a stickler on several subjects(mainly cameras) so be sure to read up on that and the food/water situation(especially if you plan on coming Friday). Oh, and when you pack your bag, don’t forget to throw a wad of cash in there. You’ll need it since you’ll probably be getting hungry/thirsty during the 8 hours you are there with no ins and outs.

3. MAKE A SCHEDULE
If you’re going for the music, this one is important. At music fests and fests in general, time flies like it’s nobody’s business. Take a look at the schedule and stage maps ahead of time. Otherwise, there’s a good chance you’ll miss the band you came for while in line for a chevapchichi and that would suck.

4. DRESS APPROPRIATELY
I know it’s super fun to go shirtless and/or wear bikini tops at festivals but really, it’s pretty gross. If you want a tan, wear a tank top.
Also, this is Chicago. Even if Tom Skilling says it’s going to be 70 and sunny bring an umbrella, poncho, or something comparable for a possible emergency situation.

5. PARK IT
You’ve finally arrived and now that you have, I suggest you find a good spot and settle in for a few. It’s going to be hard because you’re really excited and already want a drink but just remember, this place fills up quick. Eventually, after the excitement wears off, you’re going to want a place to chill out and by that point the best spots will be taken. Therefore, do this ASAP.

6. PACE YOURSELF
Once you’re all settled in, it’s time to grab that drink you wanted. Sounds like a plan, as long as you keep these three things in mind. 1. There are no ins or outs. 2. There are a shit ton of after parties. 3. There’s more of this tomorrow.

7. RINSE AND REPEAT
After your day has come and gone it’s time to hit the after parties…and SHOWER. Get drunk, clean up, and remember the first 6 steps for tomorrow.