For all that technology has given us (the Interwebs, YouTube, iPhones [and subsequently, the NSFW Guys with iPhones]), I have yet to find a decent site to stream TV episodes. Namely, a site that properly streams Kell on Earth. I mean, what the hell, Hulu? You can only show me 22 minutes of a 45 minute episode? Note to Bravo: Get with the times and stream your shows with halfway decent software instead of the NetZero-worthy shiz you've got now. That said, I was only able to watch said 22 min. of last night's haps. Sorry folks; broke blogger = half-recaps. But I digress.
Last night's episode of Kell was a meltdown of loveliness. In short, there was a whole lot of awkward.
Firstly, Stefanie Skinner whines about a ton of work she has on her plate. Like, Emily comes at her with, like, angry words and Skinner runs outside to, like cry. And then she learns how to make a list! Screw technology; give me a pen and paper any day. The PR girls are my idols.
Moving on, Kelly and Andrew M. totally try to tag team a hot-ish tank-topped-bicycle-riding-photographing-New-York hipster. The point? To get Andrew M. a date/laid. Did it work? Laughably, no: dude was totally with girlfriend (though frankly, I find that hard to believe; he had my gaydar pinging like crazy). Funny stuff.
And what about Tandrew's blind date? There was an awkward word association game that netted sexy results. Although I must say, who doesn't know what a spork is? Moreover, who the hell calls it a foon? Just stop talking, Tandrew and date guy; give me more Kelly. Oh, look, it's her and Andrew M., arriving just in time to add some more awkward into the mix! You ain't getting no play tonight, Tandrew. Lo siento.
Meanwhile... (cue star-wipe/Batman transition music) Emily and Skinner host Ina Men's party. As they meet-and-greet editors and the like, they run out of tequila. Ahhh hell no; it's the only thing keeping people mildly interested. Emily gets on the case, Skinner watches in amazement, both realize their diffs and hug it out.
Scenes from next week: breakdowns, responsibilities and...Andrew M. with a haircut? Good god, I hope so.
It all started when I saw Nicole James' Facebook status update, "Please try chatroulette if you have not yet". The next day, Daily Candy tweeted, "You never know when you’ll be asked to show your bra on Chatroulette". That same night the local news
told me to "beware of Chatroulette". And that was that. I knew I had to
try the latest social phenomenon to hit the Internetfor myself.
Before logging on I did a little research, just so I knew exactly what I was in for. The first thing I found was The 24 Best Chat Roulette Screenshots. After LOLing for 10 minutes, I went to the site and pressed "Play".
CLICK TO ENLARGE
My first encounter was with a really hot guy. Uneasy, not knowing what
to say, and loathing the surreality of it all, I clicked, "Next".
Before I knew it, the side profile of an elderly man with a bald head
and a ring of bright white hair appeared. I was scared shitless. I
don't even talk to old people that I don't know in real life! How was
this happening? I closed the tab and decided I would be more
comfortable experiencing this voyeuristic activity with a partner in
crime. The next day, after getting over my initial fears (mostly of
encountering perverts and strangers), I recruited my roommate to aid me
in this social experiment.
After putting on full faces of makeup, on the off chance that we would encounter a celebrity,
we sat in our living room spinning the metaphorical wheel. If you
haven't done it, the best way I can describe it is "early 90s chatroom
meets Elimidate."
One by one, we met an array of interesting people, most of which
were men and many of whom were
from France. We were only "nexted" once and it was by the one other
woman that was logged on. Surprisingly, it wasn't until the last half
hour that we came across the
masturbators everyone is talking about. Out of 40 people we met (not
including: the tent, a live white cat, two different dancing robots and
a "Dick 4 Pussy" sign) most seemed pretty normal, albeit this was via
video chat.
There was the guy from Denver who lived in a studio
apartment and hung pots on the wall due to insufficient space. The emo
boy from Norway sitting in a dark room just staring back at us. Two frat guys from "The Murder
Mitten" asking to see our boobs. Danny the hot lab tech from Dallas. The list can go on but the
whole point is that everyone was trying this thing for the same two
reasons: to meet new people and to be entertained. After realizing
that, it wasn't so scary after all. Once my 60 minutes were up, I
ended up with a few new like-minded Facebook friends and got at least
20
people that were admittedly bored or lonely to laugh and smile.
My experience was better than several other friends that have tried it but I think that's why it's called ChatROULETTE. Once you click play you're taking a gamble. It's definitely worth a try. I mean, what other time in your life will it be acceptable to opt out of a meeting the minute you get bored, take a break from being you and be "Sophie from Russia", or watch real, live reality at a moment's notice?
[1] Mislabeled wine leads to happy hipsters who can finally make the switch from PBR without feeling mainstream. (Blackbook)
[2] Even though he's off the air, we're still with Coco. Though now it's mostly because he has a beard. Lookin' good red! (Radar Online)
[3] Cats are way cooler than dogs any day of the week even if they are wearing nerd glasses and ironic hairstyles. (Hipster Puppies)
[4] Tiger had sex with 500 women. Now he's sorry. Does anyone care? (Fox Sports)
[5] Last week, curling was something you did to your hair. This week it's someone pushing a stone down a sheet of ice while two others help "brush" it into the center of a bullseye. Sounds weird. Looks even weirder.(NBC)
Looks like a biopic about the late, great grunge hero Kurt Cobain is slated to be made soon. On the roster to play the leads are Scarlett Johansson, as Hollywood's original train-wreck, Courtney Love, and Ryan Gosling as Kurt. The match up sounds too sexy to be true. Though, if it's anything like the first attempt at Cobain movie (Remember Last Days? Me neither.) then we should be more nervous than excited.
